Shadow of her former self
by Florays
Summary: Leah Clearwater. Not everyone is as strong as her, but even the strongest can break. Slight Blackwater. Two-shot! Rated M for a tiny bit of language and caution. Don't read when you're suicidal please. Jacob/Leah
1. Part One

**First one-shot. Be nice! No flames.  
A little bit Blackwater.**

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**Shadow of her former self**

They never really bothered to help her, she helped herself instead.

They never turned to look at her, when Sam and Emily showed up.

She always helped them, even if it was against her will.

She always looked at them, instead of Sam and Emily.

Since the past few days her mind dropped to zero, she couldn't think- couldn't feel. As if the feelings belonged to someone else.  
The sun tickled her skin as her Alpha dismissed them in his own silly way, but she couldn't laugh at his jokes- although they were funny.  
Her hair reached her shoulders again, but she didn't bother to cut it off. Her pack did ask why, but she always gave them the same answer. Stop phasing.

But she couldn't.  
Her body kept rejecting her orders to stop, it only caused her to be tense- snappy. But she wasn't to blame, although she doesn't believe that.  
Her Alpha always offered his help, but she waved him off each time he tried.

He couldn't get through her mental barrier.  
His hatred for vampires, his heartbreak, the imprint on Nessie. It wasn't his choice to be that way, and neither did Leah have a choice for her attitude.  
He didn't blame her, everyone else did. But he always kept his mouth shut.

There wasn't a single bit of tension in the air, it was cool- a little breezy, but nobody seem to notice her, sitting alone in the shadows.  
A shiver ran up her spine, and she cupped her chin into her hand- leaning her elbow on her knees, which she pulled to her chest.  
She couldn't help that she felt like an outcast, who wouldn't? The only female, no girl to share your thoughts with. No father to hold her when she cried. An outcast. That's what she was.  
The tension began to shift into something darker, the sun hid behind the grey clouds.  
She could see her little brother staring up, and gesturing for her to come home. The news warned for a storm, a thunderstorm. But she didn't mind.  
Sam invited everyone over to his house, all- except for her. She knew he didn't want to hurt her, but why did he have to invite them all behind her back? Eventually- she would find out through the thoughts of her pack-members.  
Not that she cared.

A sigh escaped her lips, now wrapping her arms around her knees to pull them tighter- leaning her chin on her right knee. Dreaming.  
Alone at last. Nobody to poke into her thoughts, nobody to bother her. Just Leah Clearwater, sitting beneath a lone tree that stood a little bit further away than all the other trees.  
An outcast, just like her.  
Sam's invitation still burned till deep into her core, but she refused to let her mind go further than that.

The first raindrops began to tickle down onto the grass. The grey clouds began to get darker at that point, but she didn't notice.  
Rain felt good against her skin, the cold little drops that slid down her arms, or the little drops that soaked her hair.  
Her father once told her 'when rain falls, the clouds cry for the ones who are hurt.'  
She denied that she was hurt, she was far away from hurt- long ago. Long ago she was, but now? She was only broken, waiting for someone to take the first step and heal her.  
But her hope died a few months ago, when Sam and Emily just got married. Nobody noticed a slender black-haired female hurrying out of the church. But she didn't mind.

She didn't remember when she started crying as the rain fell. The clouds should know that if she cried- something bad went through her.  
She rarely cried, actually. Although they expected her to cry herself to sleep, she used to do that- but she grew over it a month ago.

The sky cracked, causing her to jump out of her trance and look up at the sky. Her tears were still falling numbly, without her stopping them. She was soaked, at that point. But she couldn't get sick, or couldn't even get a cold.  
She hated it. Despised the humans because of the fact she isn't one.  
A shiver went down her arms, and she didn't make a sound as another wave of grief hit her.  
Her sorrow would only end when the storm passed, but this storm was far heavier than any other she used to remember.  
The lightning flashed, just faintly. It looked beautiful, yet terrifying.  
It made her think of the leeches, they would probably be playing baseball right now. Hah. The leeches. She never liked them, she tried- but her instinct always blocked her from being nice.  
She used to be nice, actually- a very loving girl. The nights she spend with Sam, the way they cuddled on the couch while watching a movie. They would gently caress each other, and eventually make sweet love on that couch- or they would move upstairs to find a bed.  
At those memories, it reminded her of her being infertile. She used to be on the pill because her mom ordered to. She laughed at it, made jokes of it. Now fate had silenced her with the fact she doesn't even need one when having sex.  
But who was she kidding? Ever since she first phased, nobody touched her the way Sam used to. Nobody made love to her- letting her call their name mingled with moans.

But she wasn't a slut. She just wanted some distraction sometimes, her only distractions were her little brother with his cute little jokes- and the patrols she had to go on as an order of her Alpha, Jacob Black.  
The sky cracked again, but this time she just listened to the horrible rumbles it made. The clouds were screaming, they wanted their freedom just as much as she did.  
She wanted to break out of this shelf she hid into. She wanted to burst out of her cocoon like a beautiful butterfly in the summer.  
But a little voice always whispered that she wouldn't be able to do that, because she was a harpy. Someone who made others feel miserable to ease her own pain.

She actually started to believe she's a harpy, because of the thoughts she could read from every member of the pack before she joined Jacob's.  
Jared and Paul. They always picked on her for some reason. Seth would bark at them in order to defend her, but now? Seth didn't even point a claw at them. Not that it was possible, they joined Jacob's pack.  
Of course, she cheered up just a little. But not enough to make her stop crying whether it all crashes down.  
She inhaled deeply, letting the oxygen fill her lungs until she blew it all out. She remembered a time where she felt horrible for nothing. Her teacher had blamed her for drawing on the walls, while someone else did it.  
She held her breath until she eventually fainted. Even then, she was a bitter harpy. A stubborn girl who made others feel miserable for their actions.

"Pathetic."

Her voice croaked like a witch cursing at the beautiful princess.  
At this point, Emily was the beautiful princess- and Sam was the prince who fell for the princess.  
She felt rough, edgy- above all, _broken_.  
Fixing. Nobody would even try and point a finger at her, scared that she might snap or say something humiliating.  
Sometimes it hurt, but the pain was only a dull ache in her chest. Forced and squished together by all the other little pains and scars. There would be a point that she would break, falling into the depth of her sorrow.

_ROAR!  
WHOOM!_

The weather started to creep her out, she sat on dangerous territory now. An open clearing, lots of trees.  
But why didn't she run? Like she always did. Like her instinct told her to do.  
Was it maybe because she was tired of it all? Tired of hurting, suffering?

She leaned her forehead on her knees and hugged herself tightly, a sob rippled through her chest- unable to push those tears away. The storm fell down a little bit, the rain tickling her arms again.  
Her shoulders shook with force, but no more sounds escaped her rosy lips.  
It amused her that nobody came to look for her. They would probably sit at the house of Sam and Emily, partying. Having fun without her, without the party pooper.

She remembered a time she pissed off Paul at Embry's birthday party. Paul had yanked her towards him, spitting into her face and hissing mean words to her.

"_Life would be better if you'd jump off a cliff, Leah."_

"_Why are you even here? Shouldn't you cry somewhere else?"_

"_Join your father, we wouldn't mind."_

It hurt her so much she couldn't even feel angry about it. But she didn't cry about it anyway. She was strong in her own way, going through life even if the wind blocked her from reaching her goal.  
She had recovered quickly, being mean to him in return.

"_I would've killed myself if you imprinted on me. Lucky for Rachel she doesn't know about you, you don't exist in her eyes. When do you grow up?"_

"_Come on, Paul. Don't be such a sissy, even my mom can make better comments than that."_

"_Sure, will you bring me to my dad then- holding my hand all the way?"_

Paul, being a hothead, phased after she had embarrassed him. But she didn't do anything back as he slammed her through the backdoor.  
Maybe she would die, and Paul would live with regret. Well- maybe he wouldn't. But then she would be gone, no burden in anyone's eyes.

The sky cracked softly now, and she looked up at the sun which appeared between grey clouds.  
She stopped crying as soon the rain only dripped once a 5 minutes on her skin.  
Her frail body lift from the ground, soaking wet. But she didn't mind. Because the clouds needed their release just as much as she did.

Her feet carried her back to La Push, the sun tickled her skin as she emerged from the trees.  
Dully, she passed Sam's house, listening to the laughs and cheers that came from inside.  
She hesitated.  
But the little harpy didn't care at some point, so she opened the door from Sam's house and stepped in, closing the door behind her and gently pulling off her shoes like she did when Sam was still hers.  
She could hear a bit of silence coming from the living room now, and she began to hesitate again. They didn't want her here, Sam didn't invite her.  
She pushed that thought away, entering the living room on her bare feet.  
When everyone came into view, a dim smile appeared on her face. Everyone gaped at her.

"Uh. Hey Leah." Sam eventually said, sitting next to Emily like only a couple would sit.  
"Hi." She responded, stroking through her wet hair. "Sorry I'm late, the weather.." she mumbled with a little chuckle added to it. Her voice sounded almost sickening sweet.  
The boys just laughed very soft, almost fake. She knew it was fake, they never knew how to approach Leah when it came to this attitude.  
Leah sat down next to her Alpha, tucking hands neatly into her lap as she still managed to smile.  
Jacob bend a little forward to look at her face, Leah met his eyes- and her smile almost faltered.  
"You okay?" he asked softly, but Leah just raised her head and smiled hugely.  
"I'm great. Where are you all partying about? I'd like to celebrate, too." She looked at everyone, everyone except for Sam and Emily. Making the both feel like outcasts.  
Paul actually laughed at that, a humiliating- 'you're-pathetic' laugh.  
Leah tensed, but she withdrew her anger.  
"Yeah. I'd like to laugh too. What's it about?" she questioned, now looking at Jacob.  
"I don't think you would like it, Leah.." Sam said, rubbing Emily's shoulder softly.  
"Why not? We're all family, and being together counts." The smile on her face grew bigger, but it didn't reach her eyes.  
"Leah, have you been drinking?" Jacob asked, bending forward to look at her again.  
"No, Jacob. I'm just happy for whatever you're partying about. So let's continue and act like I'm not here. It's easy since you all do it every day." Her smile managed to shrink into the quivering of her lips, until it faded completely. Her voice sounded edgy at the end, and she knew she was being that harpy again.  
"You won't like it." Sam mumbled, still withholding himself from hurting her more. But the damage had been done, he couldn't hurt her anymore.

"Aww, come on. Spill! Are you going on a honeymoon since your last had been canceled? Renesmee and Jacob are together?" she questioned, her voice not cracking for once- to which she was thankful.  
"Fuck off, Leah. Go home. Emily's expecting Sam's baby, you know? A child you will never have? The reason you weren't invited was because you would ruin it. And here you are, ruining it. So go ahead, snap at us like you want- but it won't touch us. What's a life without someone to make it miserable huh? Glad you took that job-" – "PAUL! Don't you dare and talk to her like that!" Sam roared, pulling his arm back from Emily.

Leah's eyes were wide with shock, everyone looked at her. Everyone saw the huge amount of pain flash through her eyes as Paul's intimidating words penetrated through her chest.  
But she recovered, almost too quickly- letting a broken smile take over.  
"Okay, that's fine. Um. I'll see you later, I suppose.. _Maybe_.." her voice was barely a whisper at the end, the 'maybe' made her Alpha gasp- he was probably the only one who heard her.  
The crushed she-wolf got to her feet, nobody said a word when she headed for the door.  
And if it wasn't enough- Leah slipped because of the puddle of water she left a few minutes ago.

Sam and Jacob stood up in unison, calling her name- to see if she was okay. But she was far away from okay.  
The roaring laughter of Jared and Paul took the last bit of dignity Leah had away.  
When she got up, she didn't share glances with anyone. But everyone saw that her shoulders shook, only once though. Before she sprinted away, yanking the door open and smacking it into the lock. Leaving her shoes and running barefoot over the town square.  
The tremors that ran through her became nearly unbearable, so as soon she reached the forest- she phased. Bursting into the slender grey wolf without looking back.

_This has to stop. _

_I'm better off dead. _

_So much hurt- Paul's right. _

_I can't do this anymore. _

It didn't take long before she sensed someone phasing, probably Seth. But the thoughts of the person didn't get through her, as if he blocked his thoughts from her.  
The whimpers escaped her muzzle as proof she was truly crushed, not because of the words of Paul- not completely.  
She just couldn't do this anymore, this unloved feeling killed her.  
It killed her to know nobody liked her.  
The tears spilled from her huge wolf-like brown eyes, the wetness just slid over her fur numbly.

The cliffs came into view, the clouds were beautiful white- the sun reached her rejected body as she stepped into the light.  
But as soon she wanted to step closer- she collapsed. Phasing back to her bare human form, controlling the sobs that escaped her lips with all her might.  
She couldn't help it, this feeling had always been familiar. She hurt. She breaks. She cries.  
But this time, this time she wasn't alone.

He didn't speak, but he did sit down to take the sobbing girl on his lap. She didn't do anything, just gasping- trying to stop crying.  
She didn't want to look vulnerable to him. But he didn't see her as vulnerable.  
Leah Clearwater was as strong as a tidal wave, but as broken as a frozen watch.  
At some point- she just couldn't keep herself together anymore. The struggles of trying not to cry lessened, leaving her utterly defeated.  
He did not say a word, just rocked the bare girl in his arms. He too, didn't wear any clothing. Just for her comfort.

Eventually, she slipped an arm around his neck- pulling herself up to snuggle closer to her Alpha's chest.  
She didn't mind it was him, he knew. He understood her pain. They were both the same, although Leah was the one who broke. Every piece in her body burned dully, the aching of her soul only made the sobbing worse.  
Still, Jacob kept silent. Letting the fragile heap cling on to him like there was nothing left of her.  
This time, she was the one to speak.  
"Why-" she choked out, not pulling up to look at him. Another sob rippled through her chest- letting her shoulders shake of the force.  
Jacob didn't say anything, carefully running his fingers over her arm- to let her know he was there. That she wasn't alone.  
"I can't do this. I'm dying, Jake. It's killing me. It kills me." The broken girl cried, and Jacob closed his eyes.  
The exact same words had left the mouth of a girl who gave her life to be a bloodsucker.  
Leah felt that her Alpha tensed, and she gripped him tighter.  
"Jacob."  
His name was empty, hollow- alone, when it came out of her mouth.  
"Don't." he just responded, letting a hand run through her dried hair.  
"You can't keep me here." She tried to sound harsh, to gain her attitude back. But it left her crushed, torn in two.  
Jacob looked down at her.  
Leah Clearwater reached the breaking point, the point where everything was possible.  
Even killing herself.

"Leah, look at me." Her Alpha ordered, and she couldn't help but obey to that strong Alpha voice.  
Their eyes met, hers were glassy with tears- his just bore into hers. Trying to let her know she's not hated by everyone.  
"No." she whimpered, stifling another sob- hiding her face into her Alpha's chest.  
"Paul is just teasing you, he wasn't serious. Leah."  
She didn't believe him.  
"I don't. – I don't want to hear her child laugh, it should be me. It should be me in Sam's arms- it should be me. All the time." She sobbed for all that was left of her, and Jacob closed his eyes- gently stroking Leah's shoulder.  
She was jealous, jealous and crushed. She wasn't being selfish, she was torn apart by a fairytale she used to believe in.

They sat there, unmoving. The she-wolf breathed harshly, swallowing back the sobs that wanted to leave her lips.  
"Paul was dead serious. Can't you- I thought you understood me.. Jake- I'm a dead end. Nobody would want me, I can't get children- I'm cranky, and I will end up dead later anyway." her voice finally sound like a sneer, more like the tough cookie she pretended to be.  
Jacob knew better.  
Their eyes met again, there wasn't a sparkle of life in the she-wolf's eyes. She was spend, empty- she had enough.  
He hesitated, maybe if he would show her that he cared- she would stay.  
His arms tightened around her, pulling her closer.  
Their lips nearly touched, and Leah gasped at the warmth of Jacob's breath on her lips.  
Her gasp was only a sign of approval for the Alpha to let his lips meet hers, he tried to find some life in the kiss. Some electric wave, something that let him know she was still alive.  
But he got none.

He slid his tongue over her bottom lip, Leah parted her lips- but she didn't fight for dominance. She let him do it freely.  
Leah moved, sitting up and hooking her legs around her Alpha's waist. Their bodies touched, and Leah felt aware of her naked body against his. It was a foreign feeling, she never fantasized about this.  
But Jacob did.  
Ever since Leah shut herself from everyone, he started to notice her. To hear her broken howls, to see the pain in her eyes, to smell the fear of going through the same pain again.  
She couldn't cope. It was too much for her. Even the strongest break.

They pulled back for air, both breathless- Jacob saw something what looked like a sparkle in her eyes. The life was returning.  
"Jake, I don't know.." she choked out between gasps, and he nodded simply, stroking a strand of hair out of her face.  
"Don't jump." Jacob whispered, leaning his forehead to hers. She bit her lip and closed her eyes.  
"I have to." She responded, she didn't want anything else than escape her pain. To escape her heartbreak.  
Nobody would probably care that she would be gone.  
"Why are you so determent about this..? Don't I mean anything to you?" Jacob asked, his voice a little edgy at the end.  
Leah whimpered, pulling back out of her Alpha's arms and getting to her feet.  
The rain started to fall again.  
"You do. You.. understand me." She spoke softly, taking a few steps closer to the edges of the cliffs.

Jacob got up to his feet, a broken glance in his eyes as he watched his Beta.  
She never got the support she needed. She was left alone, trying to find light in her darkness.  
But all she found was sorrow.  
"Please.."  
Jacob reached out for her, but she shook her head. A shuddery breath escaped her lips, and she looked away.  
"At least- put some clothes on."  
Maybe he could get her back that way, but it was a wrong move.  
She laughed, a bitter and angry laugh that echoed through the trees.  
"It's okay, they wouldn't even bury me."

It hurt him.  
She hurt, too.  
"Jacob." She whispered, and he met her eyes. "I have one request." She added silently, Jacob nodded faithfully.  
"Tell Sam.. Tell Sam and Emily I'm incredibly happy for them." She paused, her voice drowning in sadness.  
"They'll feel sorry, Leah. Even if I would tell them this." Her Alpha pleaded, but she refused.  
"Tell them it's not their fault." She paused again, taking a step back. Jacob reached out for her blindly- his own eyes watered with hurt. "Just tell them Leah Clearwater had finally found her happy ending."

Jacob nearly sprang forward- trying to grab her as she leaned backwards- towards the rough sea.  
Leah Clearwater fell.  
Her shattered soul would be healed.  
Her suffering would end.

_But she will always be a shadow of her former self._

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**A/N;**

_**Okay, I spend a little amount of tears. But this is how I pictured Leah.  
This isn't just some heartbreak she went through. She went through a heartbreak, she became a she-wolf, and she found out she wouldn't manage to produce children.  
Leah has a depression, sure of it. And I couldn't do any better than write it this way. **_

_**After all, we crave for an happy ending ourselves. Right?  
**_


	2. Ending

**And she died happily ever after.**

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He was the guy who saw her fall.

He was the guy who didn't admit he loved her.

He was the guy who blamed himself for her action.

He was the guy who.. couldn't cope with her death.

Jacob Black couldn't believe what happened, why didn't he stop her? Why didn't she stop herself?  
She said; _"__It's okay, they wouldn't even bury me."_  
They wouldn't. But he would.  
He figured out that shape shifters die in vain, as a hero.  
Well, maybe Leah didn't die for someone else- but she died as a strong person who refused to give up until her very ending.

A happy ending.  
She called this her happy ending.  
But her death wasn't anywhere near the fluke of a fairytale. She believed it. She used to believe in whatever Sam told her, maybe Sam was honest. But as soon Emily came in his life- he shoved her away.  
She was Snow White, but no prince kissed her out of her nightmare.  
She was stuck in the tower like Rapunzel, but no prince came to rescue her.  
She was Cinderella, but nobody slid the lost slipper on her foot.  
She was the little mermaid, who lost her prince to another woman.  
She was Beauty, her Alpha was the Beast. But she never told the Beast she loved him.

She never had her happy ending, even if she wished she would.  
But wherever she was, she would be happier there than feeling like an outcast here.  
He got her point.  
Through the years, she build. She broke, she build herself up again. To finally crumble apart.  
He didn't blame her. He put himself in Leah's situation. If he had been together with Bella, and then Bella left him for Edward (he felt this one sharply). If he would lose his father. And then turned into a shape shifter, unable to get children to the world.  
The tears ran down over his cheeks by only imagining him in Leah's shoes.  
Nobody would want to be in them.

"Jacob?"

He turned around, still naked.  
Seth emerged from the trees, his face was twisted in agony.  
"Where's my sister? I feel like something's wrong. I have the urge to howl." Seth said, looking for hope in Jacob's eyes. But he found none. The hero in Seth's eyes slowly shifted into a wolf, and Seth frowned.  
"Jacob?"

The Alpha howled.  
Leah's little brother stirred at that, the urge to howl- Jacob phasing.  
_Something had happened.  
_"Jacob, it ain't funny. Where's Leah?" Seth choked out, searching for any sign of his big sister.  
His Alpha howled again, louder- to the sky.  
Seth staggered. She couldn't be. She was strong. Unbreakable.

The young shape shifter collapsed as a wolf, the whimpers escaping his muzzle- he cried. The wolfish whimpers began to get louder, until Seth howled. Long. Loud.  
Jacob let his thoughts wander, that he tried. That he tried to stop her from reaching her 'happy' ending.

Seth lost faith in just one minute, turning- running away with all his might. With all the strength that had build because the loss of his father.  
Seth couldn't cope the death of his sister, just like Jacob couldn't cope the death of his Beta.

Jacob shifted, back to his human posture. He couldn't believe she was really dead, but he had to be sure. He just had to be sure, to check on her body. To be certain her heart had stopped beating.

It didn't take long for Jacob to reach the beach, his eyes tried to note something different. But he didn't found anything, just water and sand. Rocks and cliffs.  
He wanted to leave, until he heard a whimper from somewhere.  
His thoughts ran wild, Leah? Would she still be alive?  
"Leah!" he shouted, trying to find a glimpse of the she-wolf.  
"I'll beat the crap out of you, Black. Let me die." Her voice was strong, snappy- and he knew she survived the fall.  
"Where are you- where?"  
"I'm here you dumbass." She sneered, a weak hand- covered in blood fell on a low rock.  
And that's when he saw her, her hunched naked form- broken, covered in salty sea water and her own blood.

He ran over to her, but as he wanted to touch her- she growled.  
"I'm in too much pain, don't touch me." She spat, trying to lift herself up. She fell back down like a lifeless puppet.  
"How much does it take for me to end my crappy life, Jake? Why does that jerk up there want me to suffer so badly?" she choked out, her breathing coming out in short gasps.  
Typical.  
Here she was, almost dead. But she still managed to be snappy and hateful.  
He glared at her, pulling her up by her armpits- despite her moans and shrieks in agony.  
"When do you learn your lesson, Leah?" her Alpha growled, taking her fragile form on his lap. Some bones stuck out of her flesh, and he could feel a large gap at her lower back. She didn't wince or cry out when he touched it. The flesh felt numb, lifeless. She was dying without her knowing.  
"The lesson that I never will die?" she questioned slowly, resting her head on his shoulder numbly.  
"I wouldn't be sure of that, Leah. These wounds- they can't heal. The bones of your back separated."  
"Bull-crap. I don't remember hitting a rock there."  
"Maybe you don't, because you had more mental pain at that point."

She moaned, letting her weak hand take his strong fingers.  
"Why do you care?" she whispered, giving in to the state she was in.  
"Because I just do." He replied casually, staring down at her. She looked obviously crushed again, but her eyes were hollow. Empty.  
"I thought I saw dad. At the bottom. But I got pushed to the shore." She whimpered, and he felt for her. He really did.  
"He doesn't want you to die."  
"No, he does. But I understand why he didn't let me die instantly." She shook a little, a shiver ran over her arms- causing her to moan.  
He didn't understand what she was talking about, but it fell together as she tried to reach his face with hers.  
"Leah." He mumbled sharply, but she smiled- ghostly and empty, and he knew it was almost her time.  
"Kiss me again, Black." She slumped back down, powerless. But Jacob didn't allow his Beta to slump down, not yet.  
Her breathing began to get shorter, and her eyes reached his again.  
Hers sparkled, but the sparkles disappeared one by one- slowly. The life in her eyes was dying.  
"Leah, I know I'm late. But I came to save my Rapunzel from the tower." He whispered, it made her expression twist to confusion.  
"What?"  
He closed his eyes, and then smiled.  
"I'm kissing you out of this nightmare, Snow White." Her Alpha whispered, and her eyes widened a little.  
"I'm not Snow White, she's a dwarf lover."  
"Let me save you from the sea, my little mermaid." Jacob grunted, starting to get a little annoyed because of her refusal each time.  
"The sea already killed me." Her voice got weaker, and he couldn't help but glare a little.  
"Let me fit the slipper to your foot, Cinderella."  
"Slippers are smelly."  
He snorted, and then pulled her face to his.  
"Then let this Beast love his Beauty, even if Beauty doesn't want to love such an ugly thing."

He sealed her lips with his, she weakened under his touch- and it had gotten him worried for a split second. Until he felt the slight pressure of her, kissing him back. He leaned back, pulling her into a more comfier position, half sprawled on his chest.  
Their kiss broke too soon, simply because Leah was too running out of breath. She watched him, weakly – hesitating.  
He gently laid her head on his chest, running a hand through her hair.  
"I do." She muttered weakly, and Jacob frowned.  
"Do what?"  
"I do love you, Beast."

He moved himself a little, to take a look at her face.  
She looked so tired.. Her eyes were half drooped, and she was looking at something far away. He bit his lip.  
"I love you, too. My Beauty. Let me give you your happy ending."  
She stirred, stifling a soft chuckle. He winced just letting his hand run through her hair.  
"I mean it.." she paused, her breathing slowed a little- and the tears began to burn behind the Alpha's eyes. "I love you, Jacob Black."  
"And I love you, Leah Clearwater."  
She giggled tiredly, gently letting a hand move over his torso.  
"Thank you." She whispered, trying to look at him with all her might.  
"And Leah died happily ever after." Her Alpha whispered, his voice cracked a little now.  
Her heart missed a few beats, and she hummed in agreement.  
"Sleep, my sleeping beauty." He whispered into her ear.  
She took his words eagerly, she tried her best- to talk, to breathe- to live. But her soul was far too damaged, just as her body.  
Her eyes closed, a tiny smile remained frozen on her face as she sank away. Where pain was no longer a worry, where fairytales were real, and where her love would conquer.

Jacob Black had a faint feeling this wouldn't be the last meeting he would have with the she-wolf. Although he hoped.  
After all. He believed fairytales never ended, even when the trust in them had faltered.

The Alpha laid there, waiting till he was absolutely sure she was gone. That she had a place to rest, before her spirit would refill itself with power.  
He cradled her, listening to his own beating heart. The only soft thudding heart that was left of them both.  
He ran another hand through the hair of the she-wolf, he started to notice her temperature. She wasn't feeling that warm like a shape shifter would. But she started to feel like a human, sleeping, with no heartbeat or breathing.

He stared at the sky, the white clouds that floated in the air. He wondered if she really was happy now, that she really got her happy ending.  
"Oh fuck.."  
The voice startled the Alpha, and he stared at his fellow Alpha- who sank to the ground in utter silence.  
The older Alpha didn't say anything, he just stared at the broken form that laid spread over Jacob's chest.  
"Seth was serious."  
Jacob could only nod, it must be really hard on Sam. That his high school love had committed suicide. But if he really cared, he would've ran after her the moment she ran out of his house.

"I never wished that this would be her end.." Sam whispered, touching the she-wolf's head. Jacob gritted his teeth.  
"Then how did you want her to die, Sam? You left her, you forced her to be on her own."  
"Who are _you_ to say that? You don't know anything!" Sam spat, getting to his feet to glare at the younger Alpha.  
"I'm the Beast that saved the real princess from her unhappy ending, her prince that kissed her to turn her nightmares into dreams. _You_, will never take that task to yourself. You wouldn't even think about that doing that for her." Jacob breathed between clenched teeth.  
"I never wanted to hurt her!" Sam roared, sinking back to the ground in defeat. He hung his head, and Jacob looked away.

"_Tell Sam.. Tell Sam and Emily I'm incredibly happy for them."_

The mighty Jacob Black hesitated to tell his fellow Alpha what she told him. But then again, this was her final request. So he sighed.

"Sam."  
Jacob held the limp body of Leah Clearwater as he pushed himself to a sitting position.  
The mourning man-wolf met the eyes of a true Alpha, a born leader.  
"She's happy for you, and Emily. It's not your fault, nobody takes blame for her death. She was tired, Sam. Tired of the pain and suffering." Jacob paused, staring at Sam's watery eyes- Sam never cried. He never saw him cry, so Leah still meant something to him.  
"I love her. Jacob." He choked out, staring at the colorless cheeks of his high school sweetheart.  
"I regret hurting her. I regret it all. But you know what it's like to imprint- Emily was there. She was the one." He added sadly.  
Jacob closed his eyes.  
"Shut up now, Sam. This isn't about you and Emily now. It's about Leah, it's about Leah's feelings- and what she had to go through." Jacob hissed, but his anger subsided as soon he remembered the smile that Leah had when she passed away. She had her happy ending, maybe not an 'ever after'. But she had a happy ending.

"_All fondness unexpressed, All farewells unspoken, All smiles unseen, A waterfall of tears is not enough._"

"_Tonight there must be people who are getting what they want. I let my oars fall into the water. Good for them. Good for them, getting what they want."_

* * *

He sat on a bench near the graveyard.  
The hothead had not said a word ever since he knew about her death.  
Was it his fault?  
His rough words- he never meant them. He was always angry, she knew that. She teased him, they would fight- but easily be friends again.  
But he didn't feel like a friend to her anymore.  
He failed her.  
If only he hadn't said the words that rolled out of his mouth that day.  
If only he went after her, like Jacob did. To stop her, to hold her, to let her grief for the pain she couldn't hold.

"Paul?"

He gave no answer, his gaze pointed at the ground sternly. He refused to talk, he was mourning.

"It's not your fault, Paul."

He trembled.

"It's okay to cry, if that makes you feel better."

He gritted his teeth.

"There's some food inside.. If you're hungry- you're free to come by."

Paul was left alone again, and he stared at the entrance of the graveyard. It looked spiritual, for the strong ones. The shape shifters that died in vain.  
He laughed bitterly. He didn't want her to commit suicide, he was angry. He said things without thinking.

"_I would've killed myself if you imprinted on me. Lucky for Rachel she doesn't know about you, you don't exist in her eyes. When do you grow up?"_

She lied.  
He didn't imprint on her, but still she committed suicide.  
And yet he knew she was right.  
Rachel doesn't notice him, she's in love with someone. But not with him.  
He had to grow up.

"_Sure, will you bring me to my dad then- holding my hand all the way?"_

She cheated.  
He was supposed to hold her hand.  
And he would happily guide her to the peace she deserves.  
Her death made him realize that she had far too much pain to cope.

Paul got to his feet, he had no reason to be angry on her. The only reason he was angry was that it was his fault. His own mistake that cost a life.  
He made his way into the graveyard, staring at each tombstone that he passed. But then hers came into view, the flowers covered the fresh dirt. It looked beautiful.  
But the situation was depressing.

_Here rests Leah Clearwater_

_Shed not for her the bitter tear  
Nor give the heart to vain regret  
Tis but the casket that lies here  
The gem that filled it sparkles yet_

_May her soul be loved in eternity_

He stared at it for a while, there were pictures of her when she was a toddler. Standing beside her mother and father.  
Next to that memory, was a picture of her and Seth holding hands. It looked like Seth had cried, but Leah only smiled a huge girly smile.  
Ironically, there wasn't a picture of her and Sam. He never really realized how forlorn she looked sometimes, that she would love to be happy- but that she couldn't.

"Leah."

His voice sounded sharp, emotional- totally not his own.  
He swallowed, folding his arms together and looking away from her grave.  
The emotions that ran through him were foreign, it was like he lost a sister. A biological sister to his heart.  
He gritted his teeth again, letting his arms slide back next to his body.  
It didn't take long until he noticed the quakes that ran through him.  
A low growl escaped his throat, hanging his head in defeat.

"I'm sorry, Leah."

And with that, the crushed hothead ran away from the graveyard- to the beach. Where she spilled her last breath, and where she shared her last smile.

The clothes ripped off his body as he shot up to the air unwillingly, it wasn't anger that ran through him- not at all.  
He suffered from his mistakes, he blamed himself.  
_How could she do this, it must be a lie. She faked her own death, just to see if I would care. Well- it's okay Leah! I care, I fucking care okay! Just come back- make snappy comments about my attitude, embarrass me- make me angry.. _

He got no answer. Not that he would've heard her, but he was just- furious about it.

_Leah! Get your furry ass back here and stop lying to everyone- I'm sorry okay! I'm fucking sorry! You knew I wasn't serious- I've never been serious.. But if I knew that this would be the outcome of my action- I would never, ever had hurt you. _

Paul collapsed in the sand, he refused to cry. He was strong, maybe a bit stubborn when it came to emotions- but he wouldn't cry.  
He realized he was in denial. He made himself believe Leah was pulling a prank on him.  
But he refused to admit that he was mourning, this was Paul. The hothead! Nobody broke through him except for Rachel!

Finally giving in, Paul phased back. He sank his hand into the sand, gripping it- squeezing it.  
"Paul?"  
The voice made his body jerk.  
"Leah? Leah- I knew you were lying you fucking bitch!"  
He didn't notice he was crying until the person pulled him into an embrace.  
"It's okay, Paul.. You know it's not your fault."  
Normally, he would stay strong with his imprint near. But he couldn't.  
He was angry, frustrated- but the main thing was..

_Paul couldn't cope with the death of a sister._

* * *

"Your candle burned out long before your legend ever did."  
Seth stood near the grave of his father, the tears pooled out of his eyes- they were unstoppable.  
The Clearwaters were falling apart.

First his father.

And now God took his sister away.

"Who's going to die next, dad? Is it mom?" the broken puppy growled, hugging himself with his bare arms.  
He felt humiliated for talking to his dad's grave. But it calmed him, sort of. It eased the pain of the loss of his sister.

"_Oh no, oh- God. I can't take this anymore!"  
Evertime she cried.  
He listened.  
"Fuck you, Sam. Fuck- fuck you!"  
He crawled out of his bed.  
"If only Emily never existed!"  
He opened the door of his room, and then gently knocked on the door of his sister.  
She fell silent.  
"I'm fine, go away."  
He listened.  
"I'm not going until you allow me in." he responded bluntly.  
"Then I'm afraid you'll be there for a while." She sobbed, throwing a pillow against her door.  
"Then I guess I am."_

_An hour of silence passed. But he still sat on the same spot that night.  
She quit crying almost 23 minutes ago. He thought she was sleeping, but that was okay. He wasn't going until she allowed him in. _

"_Seth. You can.."  
He entered. They shared glances, and he closed the door behind him. He didn't say a word, he never did. She was hurt, he knew that. He loves her, she's his older sibling. Like a twin- but yet different.  
He once told Leah that she forgot to take him with her as little seeds.  
She laughed.  
Her laughter still echoed inside his head. _

_Seth curled up next to her, taking her into his arms to stroke through her hair like Harry always did.  
She didn't make a sound, but her breathing was sharp- ragged. She tried not to cry.  
It only took a few minutes for Leah to finally settle down, to fall asleep with her brother next to her.  
But he didn't leave. He would only leave when she allowed him to. _

"Seth?"

He turned to face Jacob, he carried something that looked like a picture.  
"Hey." The young wolf replied, looking back at the grave of his father.  
"Ready to meet your sister?"  
"Definitely."

And the two made their way to Leah's grave.  
Seth narrowed his eyes, inhaled- and then smiled.  
"Hey, sis." He greeted softly, Jacob pat his shoulder softly- and then stared at the picture he was carrying.  
"Jacob brought you something, it's a present to make you cheer up a bit."

The Alpha smiled, and then gently placed a picture of Leah, Seth- and Jacob. Covered in mud and spaghetti sauce.  
That they were forever sealed, to never forget.

"You do remember that, don't you?" Seth questioned, not minding that he wouldn't receive an answer.  
"I spend two hours in the shower. Fucking two hours." Jacob snorted, while they both sat down like they were visiting a sick friend.  
"You did ask for it, Leah doesn't like being accused of pig-behavior."  
"She fell in the mud, what did you expect? No comments?"

The reason for the spaghetti sauce was pretty obvious.  
It was a warm day, they were playing outside.  
Sue decided to let them eat in the fresh air, but as soon the trio appeared in the doorway- the food fell on the ground, the sauce still hovered in the air.  
Seth could still see their own faces as the sauce splashed all over their mud-coated skin.  
"GROSS!" Leah would yell.  
"You're already dirty, Lee. What's the point?" Jacob replied.  
"But I don't want to smell like spaghetti!"  
Seth only laughed- but they all snapped out of their trance as Harry took a picture of them.  
"DAD!" The siblings would shriek in unison. Jacob fell down of laughter.

But now.  
The laughter was only a memory, just as the picture, just as their she-wolf.  
Jacob just sat in silence now, remembering Leah's smile as if it was yesterday. Wherever she would be, she would be happy.

_Maybe they would shine some light on her, so the shadow of herself would falter a little._

* * *

_**Sloppy ending, I know. But it's 9 pages long already!  
Hope you enjoyed, though. **_

_**Anyway, review- comment on my little twist? **_


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